Day 1 In Hospital

Well, we made it to the hospital on time.  Checked in, and I am sporting a very interesting hair style.  Yes, you’re getting a picture.  I can’t not share because I look SO dorky!


Since The Husband and I were checked in before eight o’clock this morning, I actually had a breakfast tray, and, man, was I ever so happy to have some food!

Sleeping last night was practically a no-go and though I tried to sleep some this afternoon, I really couldn’t.  In fact, after an hour of almost-dozing, my brain woke up quite well and really needed something to do.  Anything is better than trying to watch hospital TV.  I am SO glad I brought the laptop and the Xbox and games are on their way.

The Husband is stretched out beside me and sleeping better in the hospital than out.  I knew he was worried, but this level of worry, to where he relaxes enough to sleep well in the hospital concerns me just a little because I don’t want him to worry so much.  I guess, if the situation was reversed, I may be in his shoes because I know there are people around us who can handle the situation, whatever it may be, or whenever it might happen.


Maybe I should break out some books?

Posted in 2017, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sleep, Or A Lack Thereof

I play a lot of video games at night these days.  When I have seizures, there is a time Image result for sleepwhere I sleep from 20 minutes to 12 hours.  When this time is over, I am awake.  I am awake and super-aware.  It is as though my brain is a computer that’s been clocked and my thinking is fast.  Really fast.  Once I’ve re-booted, of course.

Friday, July 21, I began having a series of episodes.  I had five and Sniffles called my new neurologist and she said to give me an extra dose of the seizure medication that day, and from then on I was to take one dose in the morning (normal) and two tablets at night (new dosage).  I tried very hard to explain to the neurologist when I saw her I didn’t want to sleep my life away and that I enjoyed having my life.

The dose in the middle of the day helped the left side of my head stop ‘creeping’, which it has done for a good number of weeks now, even before I was first told I was having seizures.  It is one of the signs I am getting ready to have a seizure.

The full aura is the creeping feeling on the left side of my head around my ear and my stomach feeling funny.  The best way to describe the feeling in my stomach is how you feel when you go over a bump really fast and your stomach ‘drops down’.  You know the feeling.  We all enjoy it as a kid, and some people love it so much they ride roller coasters for the thrill and that feeling, as has been described to be by a roller coaster aficionado.  Sometimes my stomach ‘just feels weird’ in a way I can’t describe accurately as to get the sensation, even vaguely, across to someone else.

Because of the episodes, I am not exactly sleeping the way I should.  I can’t.  I am wired without drugs.  I am not ‘high’ or ‘goofing’ as we used to say when I went to high school.  I am just wired.  There is too much energy coursing through me and my thoughts are so quick and thoughts so quick I can’t shut my brain off.  One of the things lack of sleep does is increase my pain.  Yeah, lucky me.  So, what do I do when I am in pain and need a distraction?  I play video games; I listen to audio books; I read books; I write….  Through all of these coping mechanisms, there isn’t one to encourage sleep.  This means I’m tired.  The more tired I am, the more likely I am to have an episode plus a significant increase in my pain level.  It gets pretty rough.

Last night, however, I slept.  I slept in my wheelchair with an ice-pack wrapped in a towel over my eyes, and a light throw over me.  I purposefully didn’t turn on the TV or pick up the headphones for an audio book.  It took a long time for me to make it to sleep, but when I did, I slept hard and was unaware of anything going on around me, which is really unusual because there always seems to be a part of my brain awake, aware.  I believe this comes from growing up in hospitals.  But, last night I slept, and I slept until one o’clock this afternoon.

Part of me feels ashamed of sleeping so long.  I mean, I missed church.  Again.  Sleeping to one o’clock in the afternoon has a connotation you’re lazy, and I never want to be perceived as lazy, because I’m not.  I guess I just really feel guilty for this, and, until I know what’s going on and how to fix it, I am just going to go with the flow; even if I don’t necessarily like it, or approve.

Father T came by yesterday to see me.  His presence was such a comfort to me.  As luck would have it, though, I had an episode while he was here.  Again, there are feelings of guilt.  Of all the people to have a seizure in front of, your spiritual father is not the one I would particularly choose.  At the same time, of all the people, other than my family – Sniffles and Cheyenne included – Father T is surely one of the most understanding of all.  He gave me a blessing before leaving, and I felt, and still feel, more hopeful than before.

Today I have only had one episode.  This one was while I was talking to Sister 2.  Luckily Sniffles was in the room at the time and was able to explain to Sister 2 what was going on.

Another good thing about today is Father T and his wife, my Godmother, came by for a visit and brought us supper so no one in the household tonight needs to cook!  Isn’t that so sweet and thoughtful?!  I think it is.

Packing still needs done.  I am not taking apart the X-Box until the last minute.  I need its diversion for a few more hours.  The book I am taking with me to read is Warbound, by Larry Correia.  The Kindle is coming with me.  The X-Box and a couple of games.  My headset.  Phone.  Charger for Kindle and phone.  My diary.  The laptop.  I am supposed to show the doctors as much of what I do during the day as possible, and I must prepare for a stay of 1-5 days of hospitalization.

Even though it probably doesn’t need to be said, I will be taking my Bible with me and The Ascetical Homilies of Saint Isaac the Syrian.

Posted in 2017, seizures, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Going On A Journey, a.k.a. A New Kind Of Adventure

I am going on a journey of discovery.  It isn’t a journey I necessarily want to go on.  It isImage result for adventure necessary.  Since May 2017, I was told the ‘full-body muscle spasms’ I was going through which were, and are, so painful, weren’t really muscle spasms at all but seizures.  Since that fateful five-minute conversation, the seizures have indeed changed and multiplied.

On Wednesday evening of this week until yesterday afternoon in the emergency department at the University of Kentucky Chandler Medical Hospital, I had 20 seizures.  Even though I was permitted to go home, I was informed today that on Monday I am going into the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit at U.K. and am going to stay there for a few days.  I will be hooked up to monitors and will be observed and recorded and as close to an accurate diagnosis is going to be made.

I am scared.

The one constant in my life other than God, is my brain.  Now, my brain seems like it simply doesn’t want to remain with me.  There is also a possibility all the pain is causing problems.  According to some research I’ve done on my own because of something one of the doctors said, intense pain can cause the body/brain to develop seizure activity because the body simply can’t keep up with the amount of pain it is undergoing.

This frightens me.

An average day of pain for me is at an 8 on the pain scale.  It has dropped dramatically since the pain regimen began.  For a wonderful amount of time, the pain dropped to zero or hung around at a 4.  Those were wonderful days, weeks.  Even months.  I knew the pain relief would decrease as my body adjusted to the dosage of the pain medicine, but I never would’ve thought in a million, two million years I would develop seizures!

So, to remain calm through all this change and strangeness, I am going to keep a daily journal and I am sharing it here on my blog because I need to know people other than my family are reading my story.  It doesn’t matter if you care, merely that you read it and can at least connect to me as a human being.

Along with the public blog/journal, I am going to, of course, keep up with my paper diary and write my short-stories, etc.  Reading is a big part of this ‘calming’ attempt; listening to audio books and music, and playing video games is the other release.

Why is this sharing so important you ask?  Because sometimes it’s important someone other than family and friends know what’s going on with you.  Sometimes it’s easier to share with strangers because they don’t have previous knowledge of you and your troubles.  Sometimes a larger group helps shoulder the burden, worry you’re going through.  And, sometimes, when all this happens, you learn something about yourself you didn’t know.  It is this learning phase, in part, that’s prompting me to do this sharing.

For example, Thursday, July 20th, I had 20 seizures.  They were of two types mostly, but they seem to be evolving.  The 20 seizures happened within a 24-hour period and exhausted me.  I went to the ER and Sniffles went with me.  Once we got off the bus, there were two seizures on the street and she had to drive the wheelchair.  In the ER, there were more seizures and one just before my blood was drawn.  That day I had two doses of Adavan.  One helped and one didn’t.  Not really.

Monday, I go into the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit where I’m going to be hooked up all over my head with E.E.G. leads and an E.K.G. to keep track of what is going on.  Since I can trigger two of the seizure types, they are looking for me to do just that.  This means I get to take my X-Box with me and play games, and my laptop to do some writing because the doctors want to observe me having as normal a day as possible.  I figure the boredom of being in the hospital will encourage me to write and finish the pieces I’ve begun and order/organize them in how I want them to appear in the finished product.

Besides working, having the laptop will let me video-chat with my sisters.  We are all in different parts of the country, and this will permit us to actually see each other “with our own eyeballs” as we like to say.

Very rarely have I looked forward to a hospital stay.  This one, however, I am.  I need answers.  I need this problem to be corrected if possible.  Plus, if there is good news in the fact the hemiplegic migraines have currently stopped.  Could this be a progression of them?

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A Wonderful Respite

Reading and writing go together.  I suppose you could have one without the other, but it Born A Crime Trevor Noahwouldn’t be very much fun.  Well, for me at least.  Since the writing is going so well, the reading is also following a similar trek.  However, the book that’s giving me the most enjoyment at the moment is an audiobook from Audible:  Born A Crime:  Stories from a South African Childhood, by Trevor Noah.  Read by Trevor Noah.

Most of the household has read the book.  I got in line to read it, but when I saw I could get it with an Audible “credit”, and because it was read by Trevor Noah, I went for it.  I am so glad I did!

I am not through listening to the book, but it will be concluded at some point this weekend I’m sure.  Hearing several different South African languages spoken, hearing the pitch and change of the emotion in Trevor Noah’s voice at certain sections when he remembers an incident all over again is adding volumes to this particular rendition for me.

Like most people, his story is not his story alone, but also of his family, friends, the time in which he grew up, lived.  Since listening to this book, I have a new disdain for Apartheid.  I didn’t understand it while it was going on, and now I see what it truly stood for and how it worked, I’m aghast at the cruelty of the system as well as how critically it was thought out and implemented.

Don’t merely read this book.  Listen to it, because it is truly an amazing piece of biographical writing and, perhaps, even history.


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Connect to Your Fans and Followers with the New Social Icons Widget — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog

Originally posted on The Blog: We’re excited to introduce the new Social Icons Widget, which allows you to connect with visitors on your favorite social media networks. The new widget supports over 40 popular social platforms, from the ubiquitous Facebook and Twitter, to crafter haven Etsy, to artsy enclaves like DeviantArt and Dribbble.…

via Connect to Your Fans and Followers with the New Social Icons Widget — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog

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Rain And Words

It appears I am settling into a nice groove of reading and writing/writing and reading.  Since I am such a nerd about my books and keeping track of the series and books I want to read, there is a lot of coordination between,, and even  (The Kindle is still a lifesaver for those days when holding a book is too difficult.)  I really can’t explain why these pages/apps please me so and make me feel very organized when little else is in my life.

Today it is raining.  Again.  There are very few days in the recent past where rain hasn’t happened.  Yesterday the pressure dropped with the rain and my entire body went into revolt, but I rode out the storm with video games, movies, and just relaxing the best I could.  Even though it’s raining today, I am moving.

Recently I make it a point that, before anything else is begun in my day, I read the daily Bible readings.  Since I am, you know, that nerdy woman, I’ve found a way to read them on the XBox, the laptop, of course; and my phone.  Starting my day this way is keeping me grounded.

The current short-story should be concluded today and the next one is in the wings, ready to step out onto the stage.  As the collection gets wrapped up with its first draft, the new novel is right there, waiting, sometimes, patiently for my attention.

Now, back to the ink mines.

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A Summer’s Thought

There is promise of rain outside my window today.  Clouds are gray and the wind blows and turns the underside of the leaves up.  It has been doing this off and on all day.  Sometimes the wind will blow exceptionally hard and the clouds will part for just about a minute showing blue sky and warm summer sunlight.

I love summer.

Posted in 2017, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Yay! Cover Reveal!

Originally posted on Richard M. Ankers – Author: Today is the big day.? At long last I can reveal the new covers for The Etenrals Series and the news that INTO ETERNITY will be released in the next few days. I’ll do a post with all the appropriate release codes etcetera as soon as it…

via The Big Cover Reveal — Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo

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22m Uninsured

The longer I live and the more health problems I acquire, when talk about healthcare BBDiyL6comes up my knee jerk reaction is to duck and cover or cover the important bits because something is usually coming down the pike that will disrupt my life.

The only thing the government sees and cares about is numbers.  They can’t see, won’t see the numbers are directly related to a person.  A living, breathing person.  And, ultimately, the government is screwing around with the quality of life of people.

You can read the full article here.  I will also put a full link at the bottom of this article.

Trump says this version of bill is ‘”mean”‘, but “he’s lent his support to the Senate version and is lobbying for passage.”

Doesn’t anyone in government positions care about the people they’re supposed to represent?  The correct answer here is:  No.  No, they don’t.  They are the “haves” and I am a “have not” just trying to live and be as happy as I can with the world I’ve been given.

I don’t know why this has irritated me so.  It just has.


Puppies and kittens.  Puppies and kittens.

Posted in 2017, government, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Needed That

Yesterday, Monday, was not a good day for Adulting, as you may well remember.  I didn’t do one thing very adult yesterday, to be honest.  I read.  I watched TV.  I played video games.  I sat out in the sun.  My priest even came by for a visit, which always makes me smile and feel, well, not alone.

Besides playing, I also did a good amount of thinking and even picked up my paper journal and wrote quite a bit there to help the thoughts organize and sift down into a more natural order.  In doing all of this, there were a few epiphanies and realizations.

One:  Mondays are going to be my “day off” escentially.  They are going to be my days and I am not going to put any appointments on them, physical therapy, occupational therapy, or anything else of them unless forced.  Why?  Because when The Husband is off on the weekends I want him to rest as much as he can, because what he does as a job is stressful.  I mean, he walks, on average, eight miles a day pushing people in wheelchairs and in beds to appointments and procedures.  Since he is a socialable fellow, he also talks to the patients he transports and helps them stay calm.  And, when The Husband works on the weekends, I am busy trying to get me ready to go to church.

Two:  I am a writer, and though I am not “a professional” writer/author, I do approach writing and telling stories in a professional manner.  There isn’t one single reason why I can’t, or shouldn’t make a work schedule and keep it regardless of what some people I’ve read say.

Three:  There isn’t anything holding me back from being published any more.  There is a traditional route of publishing and a non-traditional one.  If I am consciencious and work at the craft, I can be published in both ways.

So, today I made a writing schedule for today and the remainder of the week with everything worked in.  Now, I am off to work.

Posted in 2017, Uncategorized | 3 Comments