I have been trying to figure out how to write this blog post for a number of days now, and I still don’t have it figured out completely, but decided it was best to just begin and see how it all flows out.  I am afraid if I don’t just begin writing something somewhere the words are going to go away.

There is no other way to say this, so:  I think I am finally beginning to recover from the destruction of my entire world.

Yes, the move was bad.  The circumstances surrounding the move were horrible, and I was able to pretend for a very long time I was OK and handling it well, but, when the holidays began approaching, I fell apart.  I fell apart hard.  I fell so far as to think sending my husband away would be better for him because I couldn’t see a future for myself at all, much less us together.

He stuck with me though.  He even helped by listening when I finally reached a point to where I could talk about everything and how I was feeling.  The Husband did exactly what a husband should do and I look at him now with a different respect and can relax some.

In the depths of this misery I submitted Faery’s Kiss and it has since been rejected.  However, instead of just a plain form email saying the company “doesn’t have a place” for my story in their company, etc., the “rejector” actually gave me some advice and pointed out some errors and many positive things about the piece.  The only problem is I am going to have to do a complete overhaul of the story to effect some of the changes suggested.  Part of me wants to rant and rave because I worked so hard on Faery’s Kiss and it was super important to me as it is, but the truth is – they are right.  I don’t want to admit it, but they are right.

Since the story is Faery’s Kiss is complete, I am going to turn my attention to a different story and give the fantasy a break for a couple of weeks or months and go back afterwards and see about getting a better story out of it.  Normally I would just give up on a story once rejected, but I am not this time.  This time I can actually see a future for the piece and want to give it the chance to be read by others who might also enjoy what I so loved writing and creating.

My ‘world’ hasn’t returned to ‘normal’ because what was normal is no longer possible.  I let myself grieve for its passing, and now can take a deep breath again and can move forward, one step at a time.  I don’t know what this phase of my life holds, but, I think, I can finally look up and move forward.

One thing is for certain:  I couldn’t have pulled out of this downward spiral without The Husband, “Sister4” and her family; and most importantly God, because there had to be some divine intervention to get what pieces of Me remained and in some sort of proper order where I could/can function.

About Henrietta Handy

I have returned home to the mountains. No more am I "a mountain-girl far from home." Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at 2 1/2, I understand pain, fatigue, laughter, joy, and love all while on crutches and in wheelchairs. This blog is just about me, mostly the writing side, but there are forays into so many different topics. I am married to a wonderful husband who puts up with my writing, knitting, yarn, with the love of a saint. We have fur babies, and one cat who rules us all.
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6 Responses to Recovering

  1. M T McGuire says:

    If it helps, it took me about 13 years of trying extremely hard before I reached the point where the rejections moved from no to, we like this but it’s not commercial. If you have hada tough time personally I can only do how in awe I am that you’ve written anything at all. It’s taken me two years to work out how I can write alongside my own personal circumstances so well done.

    I think reading it and working on something else sounds likea good idea. Best of luck and I hope 2019 brings you the best of all things.




  2. Brian Bixby says:

    To your personal circumstances, I cannot speak. But I can say a few words about rejection and revision.

    Personal example: The very first novel-length story I wrote was called “Radical Magicians.” I was so very, very proud of it when I finished draft 7. (Not all prior drafts were complete, but each draft involved major changes from the one before.) And there are some very, very good ideas and writing in there.

    But I’d never send it out today. Like many a first novel, it has flaws I could not see at the time. The worst one is that it is exposition-heavy. I could do a much better job rewriting today. I’m debating whether it’s worth it.

    Other person’s example: Another WordPress blogger I met, not long after becoming one myself, set out to publish online her magnum opus, a three volume fantasy she had written maybe over a decade, at the rate of a chapter a week. Took a couple of years. Now this blogger had previously had many medical and personal problems, but she was getting over them. (Writing may have helped.) So she finished, knowing she had at least an audience of one.

    Last year, several stories later, and having pretty much recovering her health (although now more subject to age), she became dissatisfied. She wanted to publish her magnum opus in book form, well, e-book form. And so she decided to be professional, and revise, and recruit beta readers.

    She hardly anticipated what happened next. First of all, her own look at revisions suggested that her story should be broken up into 5 books, not 3, which created new structural problems. So she knew she had a massive rewrite.

    And then the beta readers got back to her. There were some “this isn’t clear” or “this needs a bit of work” criticisms. There were some cases of absolute incomprehension, always disheartening because a writer can’t be sure if it’s her or her readers. And then there were severe and significant criticisms that the author had to admit were justified, and demanded more revisions.

    Jaw dropped. At a point such as that, it’s up to the author to decide what to do: abandon the project, shelve it for a while, engage in major revision work, or decide the beta readers are clueless. ALL are acceptable options; it is the AUTHOR’S DECISION. What she’s decided to do are a bit of both the latter two courses. Some critiques she regards as taking her work in directions it simply won’t go. But others demand that she make changes, while keeping to her story, and those she is making.

    Sometimes she finds it overwhelming. And she’s now in good health, with few other commitments in her life. But she’s plunging ahead.

    If you’re still with me after all this, here’s why I recount all this: the more you write, probably the better you’ll write. And the better you can see the flaws. If a prospective publisher critiqued your work and you can see the value in what that person said, you’ve already got a professional attitude. Me, I’m still getting there. It takes me a few days to get over my anger and despair about criticism, EVEN WHEN I KNOW IT IS JUSTIFIED. I know I’ve finally got beyond my emotional issues when I sit down, think about the criticism, and then decide that not only is some of it right, but the critic didn’t even see all of the problems!!


    • Words well written. A lot of the points the editor made some comments I cannot deny are true. I really enjoy writing the main character’s story and getting to know her, but, personally, I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t too “busy” with people. The cast of characters, especially in the beginning, should be smaller.

      Thank you so much for the words and your reaction to the rejection slips. I DO NOT like them. And, I usually grumble and grouse a couple of hours before sitting down and truly looking at the criticism. You’re right! There were more problems I saw after a few smaller ones were highlighted. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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