One of the biggest killers of the writing dream is fear. Only recently did I force myself to reach this conclusion. In the beginning, when I was so young, there wasn’t any fear. I felt confident in what I was doing and putting out. As time went on and life kept putting limits on time and the weight of responsibilities grew, it was easier to tell myself I didn’t have time to write and pursue a writing career.
The Words, of course, had other ideas. My imagination kept pumping out stories and characters until, finally, I couldn’t ignore them any more. So, I put pen to paper and words on a computer screen and kept from finishing anything because this would mean I needed to do something else: Submit to a publisher.
For a while receiving rejection notices was just something that happened. Then, they became real “downers” and I let self-doubt creep in and rob me of the confidence and determination I needed to keep going as a writer – to tell my stories to other people. I might have stopped all together if it wasn’t for this blog and the love and challenges The Husband kept giving me.
Now there is a story almost ready to give to Beta readers and I’m terrified! This is worse than submitting something to a publisher! What if it isn’t any good? What if they don’t like it? What if…? What if…? What if…? This phrase followed by at least a hundred possibilities have given me nightmares of late. At the same time, I don’t want the Beta readers, whomever you turn out to be, to tell me what I want to hear. I want to know, seriously, if the piece is any good and where I screwed up at, etc.
Just as the science fiction piece I’ve been working on so diligently is coming to a close, another story is brewing. There is a sense of getting the novella done and out to the Beta readers so I can take notes and do some research on the next story.
I am so happy I’m almost delirious I’m finishing something for publication!
I am so scared my mouth goes dry at the thought of people reading my story!
Wow! I wasn’t prepared for this!