What happened to this week? Friday came as a shock. What happened to the week? Was I feeling so badly it swept by me like a flash flood? Was I feeling so good I simply enjoyed each day to the fullest so the days zipped by? I think I felt well enough I actually did stuff and the days just eased themselves past in the sunshine. I like weeks like this, although it would have been better if I could have gotten more words down.
The main day of note this last week was going to pain management and meeting three of the most inept, smug, uncaring nurses aides in history! Earlier in the week I had called pain management and asked if I needed to bring my crutches with me for a urine sample – I am actually playing by all the rules – and was told “No, it can be done with a blood test.” Of course, this is something I have known all my life. However, the techs/aides I ran into said there had to be a urine sample procured. I explained I did not have my crutches so it would be impossible for me to give one. I even offered to come back later in the week to give one – I need my husband with me for stability purposes.
Again, the answer to this was “No, we need a sample today so we are going to pick you up, stand you up, and then put you on the toilet.” My response was simple: “No.” An aide came into the exam room and began pulling on gloves and asked me very smugly, “So how did you get out of the car to get into the building today?”
“I didn’t. I took WHEELS (The local wheelchair transportation service.).”
There then proceeded to be asked many questions about how I actually went to the bathroom. It should have embarrassed me, but the situation was so surreal it didn’t. I answered every question truthfully and even offered to let them draw a urine sample via a catheter and was informed they “…don’t like to do that because of risk of infections.” How is that even possible, I thought, since I am actually in a doctor’s office?
Everyone left. A woman dashed into the room who was supposed to be a nurse and grabbed the mental health sheet and left immediately. There was quite a discussion in the hallway and then the problem was taken to the doctor who simply proclaimed he would waive the urine test this time and to be prepared for it the next time I came. Since it was also the office’s fault I had not brought my crutches in the first place, the doctor made the smug tech apologize to me.
Yes, I was upset. Yes, it was funny after a while because there is no way to put it other than my body waste is valuable. It is SO valuable it was almost taken from me by force!