Yesterday was an extremely emotional and mentally exhausted day due to pain, fatigue, and nerves. With chronic pain these symptoms are always present. You can get around them, of course, but you have to be as clear headed as possible. You have to be “on top” of it all so it doesn’t control you. However, when the pain increases and reaches past a certain point, there is very little you can do in order to get up on the highest rung of the mental and emotional ladder as you can. The distractions just don’t work. There isn’t enough energy to try and do anything because all of your energy is wrapped up in hurting, in pain.
So, yesterday, my wonderful husband and friends banded together around me, and even though the pain was pretty bad (8.5 for most of the day with ramping up into the 9’s at points – Don’t you just love this mythological pain scale the doctors seem to want you to answer when they have no concept of what you are really going through? Bless their hearts, I guess they have to do something….), and we got together and went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for some good food and then just roaming for a while, though we lost Cheyenne and Sniffles early on. Marine stayed with us until about ten o’clock. God bless him for that!
Marine hurts, too. I was able to vent to someone who understood pain and then to just relax. We looked out for each other and my blessed Husband looked after both of us. For the first time in quite a while, since I was with Marine, he was able to just sit down and breathe and let me and Marine just roam stores and talk, shop, BS and just relax in our own ways.
Today the pain is standing at a good solid 9. I have already taken the necessary dosage of ibuprofen. I am trying to hold off on the Tylenol (so much easier to type Tylenol in comparison to acetaminophen even though what I am taking is generic acetaminophen) until the last so there will be something to go to later on in the day. I am going to try very hard to be as clear headed as possible as I write and call Congressmen, Representatives, and other elected officials to actually find out what CASPR really means.
According to the pharmacist CASPR is nothing more than a state list of all of the people who use or are prescribed narcotic medications. According to my doctor and other doctors I have spoken with, CASPR is the bogeyman who can take away their doctoring certifications and destroy their lives. According to politicians CASPR is necessary to make the people in the Appalachians get off of drugs. According to law enforcement officers, CASPR makes it easier for them to locate people who sell prescription drugs to drug addicts.
“How does it affect me?” I ask all of them and they tell me – “As long as you are doing what you are supposed to do and you are a law abiding citizen, it isn’t supposed to do anything to you. So, what have you done in order for your doctor to stop prescribing you medication?” I am the one suddenly at fault even though I have 1) never sold any prescription drugs; 2) tried hard to take less medication so there would be something bigger for me to go to when and if necessary to help ease my pain; and 3) been always above-board with my primary care physician because they are my doctorand I am seeing them because I am an unwell individual and need help.
Today, folks, I am frustrated. My nerves are all a jangle. No one who is supposed to know something evidently doesn’t know anything. Am I going to have to leave my home in order to actually receive medical treatment?