The weather sucks. The judge made a ruling on our house at 11:30 AM and I have to call about it around one o’clock because the weather sucks we didn’t get to go to court, but I did get to speak with the Judge’s office directly and put forward what little I needed to say. Can you say STRESS!?
The hubs was able to get about an hour of sleep last night because of worry about the weather and what we were going to do if we couldn’t make it to court, and about the 1001 things we have to do to get moved, and moved safely. I was able to sleep a little more because I had to take a muscle relaxer because I was so keyed up my muscles ached. Today has not been a good day for the pain threshold or stress levels for me. It feels as if I have lived on a panic attack threshold since waking up at five o’clock this morning and just lying there in bed as still as I could so as not to wake my wonderful man, and he was doing the same for me. Still, we both jumped when the alarm went off at 7:00 AM.
Today he and I were talking and he said something like, “I had a dream about what we were going through with our house [long pause] the house since it isn’t ours any more….” I don’t remember him ever telling me the rest of his dream.
It is very odd how this entire situation has made us feel. Being a male, the hubs has not told me exactly how he is feeling, but he has let slip some snippets and he feels bad and is trying very hard to look forward and give me some hope for the future as well as himself. For my part I feel as if I have lost something so important the likelihood of reclaiming it is very slim. What is that, you ask? It is called security. I am not at all sure I will feel safe and secure in a place ever again. It is a strange feeling having “home” stripped away from you even though you have followed all the rules and done everything everyone who supposedly knew what to do told you to do and then “home” is ripped away. It happens in a very precise manner, too, and as unfeeling and uncaring as can possibly be. The mortgage companies and banks simply are an entity unto themselves now, and this entity does not care what is hurt or who is hurt as long as money is managed. Money is all that is cared about, not people. There is no savings and loan organization in existence like in It’s a Wonderful Life. There is no one to care about what is happening to you as a human being.
UPDATE: We just learned the date we have to move out is March 1st. Thank God for the wonderful little miracles He works! There is more to arrange, but there is a small space of breathing room now.
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